


centrum permanebit

by nuttyshake



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Future Fic, Mending Relationships, Political Alliances, Princess Catra (She-Ra), Redemption, peace talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttyshake/pseuds/nuttyshake
Summary: “You want to rule over the territories that were once the Horde’s.”“Not directly. Everyone will still have their lands, they’d just have to go through me for some major decisions-”“And the Rebellion, whose territories make up the other half of Etheria, won’t let you, because then you’d hold too much power.”Catra shuddered when Adora’s hand inched from her knee up over her thigh, but she passed it off as a shrug. It was a reflex, really, because Adora knew exactly what she was doing. She always did, when it came to Catra. “Yes.”“But if someone from the Rebellion had the same amount of power, they would balance each other out.”In which Catra and Adora rule Etheria together.





	centrum permanebit

The spot at the foot of the bed where Catra used to sleep was warm to the touch where the sun had streamed in, but empty as it had been through the early years of the Rebellion. Seeing it like that first thing in the morning still sent Adora's heart reeling in her chest, guilt and fear clawing at her until she rolled to the other side of the bed and found who she was looking for. This time, though, that was empty, too.

She sighed, blinking the sleep out of her eyes and resigning herself to getting up. While she'd been used to waking up at first light all her life, she'd now acquired a taste for staying in bed longer into the day, cozy and whole and safe. It was yet another thing that had changed in an incredibly short time.

She didn't bother with the slippers laid out before her, not wanting her footsteps to wake up the entire castle. They echoed easily off the gigantic bedroom they’d chosen for themselves when they moved in, but the room had its perks as well. For one, it looked right over the river, which reflected the colors of sunset and dawn when the light glinted off its waters; Swift Wind rode along its banks, as he had been since some stable boys had tried (and failed) to keep him locked up. They’d planted apple trees for him in the castle’s vicinity, so that wherever he went he’d find something to eat. The actual kingdom started off somewhere in the distance, villages creeping up over the line of the horizon, with sparse houses here and there housing kids who’d never been outside the Fright Zone taken in by new families, and farmers and gardeners, because Perfuma had made sure to bless the royal gardens with her magic before going back to her kingdom and now plants and flowers bloomed all year long.

The room also granted them relative privacy, since no one else lived on their same floor. There was just a storage unit, a spare room - which Adora had unofficially adapted into a guest room for Bow and Glimmer whenever they came to visit - and a personal kitchen, which was actually unmanned for most of the day, separate from the castle kitchens downstairs already in full swing.

Catra was sitting by the kitchen door, balancing a plate with some leftover cake on her knees. She was staring straight ahead, too focused on whatever was going on outside to notice Adora coming up beside her. She didn’t seem to care much about her silk robe, laid out on the floor beneath her, revealing the tank top and shorts she was wearing underneath. She hadn’t bothered with shoes, either, but that was no news.

A gust of morning air chilled Adora to the bone, having forgotten her own robe. The nightgown she wore was thin and way too light for the approaching winter. “I woke up and you were gone.”

If Catra was surprised to see her there, she didn’t show it. She just turned her head towards her voice and produced one more spoon from her pocket. “Hey, Adora. Want some?”

“Breakfast is just in a few hours,” she said, but she took it anyway.

Catra turned back to the window, her hair bouncing with the motion. It was still messy as ever, and the bedhead certainly didn’t help, but the day before Mermista had spent two hours rubbing product into her hair and whining about it all the while. It had been just for the ceremony, and some locks were already drooping back to normal, but her curls were more defined and she still smelled of hairspray. Adora dropped down to sit next to her and inhaled, memories of the night before coming back to her - the tiny food, the dancing, Glimmer’s fireworks at midnight. The princesses laying gifts at their feet, Sea Hawk trying to steal their spotlight, Scorpia’s happy crying. Catra’s hand in hers, or at the small of her back, all night long.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked, cutting a spoonful of chocolate frosting. Catra had developed an addiction to real food after leaving the Horde, and it wasn’t unusual to find her raiding the pantry at ungodly hours for a midnight snack. She didn’t have much regard for her own health, but Adora would be damned if she let Catra’s lactose intolerance get worse.

A slow smile crossed Catra’s lips, one she tried to bury before it stretched too far. “I, uh - I think last night took its toll on you. Figured I should let you rest.”

Adora also vaguely remembered several arm wrestling matches, a lost bet, a winged horse gone wild, and Catra carrying her off to bed, little choked laughs and contented sighs in her ears the last thing she heard before falling asleep. “It did _not_.”

“And,” Catra admitted, “I needed to think.”

“What, already having second thoughts?” She was only half kidding. Catra kept not looking at her and it made her jump to worst case scenario in no time.

But Catra just blinked at her, confused. _That was really dumb, Adora, _she would sometimes tell her. “About you? No.” She pulled on Adora’s hand, guiding her head down on her shoulder. “Never.”

“Ah, I knew it. I knew you liked me.”

Catra’s hand went up to rest on Adora’s neck, fingers settling on her pulse point. “Thank god for _that_. Otherwise I’d have to run this place with Glimmer.”

“Was Glimmer next in line for Etheria? I don’t recall.”

“Either her or Frosta, for having the biggest kingdoms, but I skipped over Frosta for being, like, thirteen.”

The nook of Catra’s neck was always so warm, and the previous night _had_ done a number on her. Sleep was dragging her down bit by bit, and Catra’s nails raking lightly over her skin didn’t help matters.

“What are you thinking about?”

Catra dug her spoon in again and didn’t reply until Adora had opened her mouth for her and closed it around the piece of cake. She even wiped the crumbs off her upper lip afterwards, her thumb swiping down with a tenderness that, for the longest time, Adora had feared was lost to Catra. Instead there it still was, stronger than what had been done to them, maybe stronger than _either_ of them, pleading with Adora not to let it disappear again.

It still felt so fragile, this thing between them. Adora wondered if it would go away in time, or if Catra’s finger tracing her lips would always make something deep inside her hurt.

Maybe, Adora considered, finally feeling Catra’s eyes on her - maybe Catra was wondering the same.

“This is just… a lot to handle,” she sighed, an air of defeat to her that she usually only let through in her darkest moments. “Maybe Shadow Weaver was right. Maybe I’m not fit for command, and you are. You’re better than me at being a princess, that’s for sure.”

Adora gladly took that opening. “Are you kidding me? I’m a terrible princess. These people thought being able to turn into an eight-foot tall warrior lady counted as a leadership qualification.”

Catra cracked a smile, though it was fleeting. That was good. It was all Adora wanted.

“I may have turned the tide for the Rebellion,” Adora continued, “but you’re the one who stopped the war.”

Catra shook her head, her hands falling from Adora’s face, but Adora was quick to take them back. “I’m also the one who kept it going for so long.”

“See? That takes some skills.” She waited for another smile from Catra, but it didn’t come. “I’m not saying your talents were always used for _good_, but to say Shadow Weaver was right about you being unfit for command? Tell that to all those people in the Crimson Waste you won over in _one_ day. Or to the people of Beast Island you convinced to fight with us.”

Catra paused for a beat, pensive. Adora thought she was considering what she’d said, but she just got on her knees and pulled the robe out from under her, wrapping it around them both. Adora hadn’t even noticed she was still shivering until she stopped. She looked at Catra, wanting to thank her, but Catra lay back on her chest, head resting on Adora’s shoulder, and she didn’t want to break the moment now. She just wrapped her arms around Catra and hoped she’d figure it out.

Catra would speak, eventually, but not before she’d gathered her thoughts. Adora allowed her that time and spent it playing with some of her curls, smiling softly to herself.

“I thought that was what I wanted, you know?” Catra began when she found her voice again, lower and more tentative than usual. “Being in command. Having power over everyone else. I thought it would prove everyone wrong about me. I thought it would make me happy.”

“And it didn’t.”

“No,” Catra confirmed, “it didn’t. It just made me feel empty.”

Adora held her tighter. “Do you still feel like that?” _Did I push you into this with no regard for your feelings at all - like I always have? Did you fail to mention that to me, so you could bottle it up and then lash out at me later - like _you_ always have?_

“No,” Catra assured her, and there was no bite of resentment or sarcasm in her voice. “This is different. I was so angry before - at you, at Shadow Weaver, at Bow and Glimmer and everyone else, and I thought - if I couldn’t make that pain go away, then I could at least be in charge of it. I didn’t want to admit that it didn’t need to be there at all, because it was just easier to believe otherwise.” She shook her head, disbelieving, like she was castigating her old self. “I don’t want to be like that anymore. The Horde’s already taken too much from me. Now that I can… I just want to be happy.”

“And…” Adora held her breath, Catra immediately narrowing in on it and turning her head back to look at her. “Does _this_ make you happy?” _Do I?_

Catra twisted in Adora’s embrace and smiled - the same smile she’d had on her face when she’d laid a crown on Adora’s head the day before, and the tension in Adora’s stomach loosened significantly. Daisies wreathed in gold, roses twining around crystals.

“Don’t you know, Adora?” Catra’s hand reached up again, this time pulling Adora so close to her that she could feel Catra’s breath on her cheeks. She was also messing up her hair, but - that ponytail had to come down, eventually. She was more than just a princess, now. They both were. “You _really_ don’t know by now?”

Catra had never actually _joined_ the Rebellion, per se.

She had rightfully assumed that newfound good intentions and a shiny new title wouldn’t be enough for her to be even grudgingly accepted into the Princess Alliance - and truth be told, Catra wasn’t particularly looking forward to Adora’s _I told you so_ and to having all of her ideas be shut down again. She wasn’t just going to give up her leadership to whoever had the moral high ground.

However, let it be said that Catra never backed down from a challenge, which was why she, eventually, did stroll into Bright Moon - after reconquering the Horde’s territories for herself with the new army she acquired on Beast Island. Having already suffered the brunt of Hordak’s wrath when he’d sent her there to die, she had nothing more to fear from him; in fact, if anything Entrapta had told her was true, soon he’d have bigger problems to deal with than the Rebellion, anyway. They all would.

“I was supposed to retrieve Entrapta, but well - she didn’t need my help at all, and she actually spent her time on the island keeping an eye on interplanetary interferences for us.”

“Hello again,” Entrapta waved from the seat next to Catra. Scorpia was also there, on Catra’s right. The Bright Moon council had had no choice but to let all three of them in, despite two of them being considered traitors and Catra being… well, Catra. But they were princesses, all three of them, and they _had_ formally taken a stance against the Horde, so the Princess Alliance had been forced to listen.

They called her Princess Catra now, and her army comprised the Horde’s former forces _and_ her own forces from Beast Island. The royal families had been dethroned and slaughtered when the Horde had conquered their land, and the original islanders driven away when the Horde started sending its most dangerous criminals there as a death sentence. It was rebel against the Horde or die, for sure; and Catra would’ve been tempted by the latter, hadn’t a man named Micah voiced his belief in her one too many times. Not necessarily belief that she could be good, though he thought that too; just belief that she could be _better. _Belief that she could find something worth surviving and improving herself for. That there were things she cared about enough to begin with.

What nobody seemed to understand about Catra was that she _did _care; she cared more than anyone else ever could. It was just that what she cared about, everyone advised her against.

_Revenge. Vindication. Power._

_That's not it, _Micah would say every time. _Dig deeper._

She thought back to her perfect reality, then; how it included none of those things. How her happiness came from one thing - one _person_ only.

_She hates me now._

She never did tell Micah what it was that she'd found, but her morale had suddenly improved; and so he didn’t care to ask.

She wondered if her world would ever _not _revolve around Adora. If Adora would ever not be behind every one of her choices. If it didn't make her any lesser, somehow, not having any motivations or wishes of her own, while Adora had never had any trouble putting her second.

Yet even more than being disappointed, Catra _hated_ to disappoint; and whatever will to live she could gather from thoughts of Adora, she did gather. So really, the soul-searching had been the easiest part.

In a surprising turn of events, though, not only had she _not_ died trying to fight off the Horde, but she’d been rewarded well when the islanders chose to keep her as their leader. She didn't have to threaten anyone into it, either, nor did she revel in her newfound power and rally her forces against the Rebellion. She had a responsibility now to finish what she'd started.

Adora had been sitting in front of Catra for the whole meeting and she still hadn’t spoken a single word. Glimmer, instead, had used all of her words to make it absolutely clear how much she despised her. “You’re one to talk about _interferences_. You almost destroyed all of reality because you were feeling underappreciated.”

“Which is why I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Catra drawled out for what felt like the tenth time. “Are you even listening to me? Entrapta detected some strange signals trying to reach us from outside our galaxy. The rest of the Horde’s forces are moving in-”

“So what, we should just forget about the past and be friends? If Horde Prime’s armies are so massive, I don’t see how you of all people could make a difference. You’re not even connected to a runestone. Or are _you _planning on sacrificing yourself for the greater good this time, instead of my mother?”

That’s when Adora whipped her head around and finally, finally interceded on Catra’s behalf. “_Glimmer_,” she almost hissed, reaching out for her, but Glimmer batted her hands away.

“I really am sorry, princess.” Catra kept her head down. “I don’t know how to bring your mother back. But I thought bringing back your father-”

“Would be enough? You thought you could fix everything with an equivalent exchange?”

“Glimmer!” Bow whispered now, at the same time Catra raised her voice: “I thought it could be a _start_. I don’t have to be accepted into your little Best Friend Squad, but we do need to work together, and that’s not gonna happen if you’re not willing to at least _trust_ me.”

“I’ll never trust you,” Glimmer replied, a chill settling over the room. “I’m grateful to you for saving my father from Beast Island, and everyone here seems to think we need your help, so I’ll take it. I’m perfectly capable of refraining myself from wanting to kill the people I work with. But don’t ask me to trust you.”

Catra had known it would take a long time for some of them, that some might not ever forgive her. Glimmer had been at the top of that list, and she’d just have to accept that. “That’s fair.”

Glimmer sat back down, apparently satisfied with that response, and the rest of the table breathed a sigh of relief. It was up to Adora to resume the conversation they’d been having, after announcing that their guests would stay in Bright Moon for a while with the rest of the Princess Alliance, to better prepare their defenses. “So, Entrapta, how long do you think it’s going to take for Horde Prime’s forces…”

Apparently, Bright Moon had more spare bedrooms than its occupants knew what to do with, which was why Catra, Scorpia and Entrapta all got their own. It did _not_ explain the second cot by Catra’s bed, but she figured it was there just to take up some space in an otherwise vast, high-ceilinged room; at least until Adora showed up on her doorstep before Catra had even had the chance to drop her bag to the ground.

For the first time in years, Catra looked at her void of all the bitterness and anger that was weighing her down. The remorse was still there, and it would be there for a really long time - but she’d forgotten what seeing Adora in her quiet moments felt like. How the sight of her made flowers bloom in Catra’s chest.

Tired out of her mind from the journey, the long day she’d had, the longer days still awaiting and all the self-introspection, she tried to sum up all of her questions in one word: “_What_?”

Adora kept her hands behind her back, and if Catra still knew anything at all about her, she was wringing them, too. It was a nervous habit she’d picked up when they were little, and she’d never quite grown out of it. But she was forcing herself to smile, although it only came out tentative. “My first night here, I couldn’t sleep without anyone around. I thought, maybe-”

She paused, but Catra could guess how the sentence was supposed to end. “It’s fine. I became Force Captain in your place, remember? I got used to sleeping alone.”

Adora blinked, looking like it really hadn’t occurred to her until now. “Right. Well, it’s good to know you trust us that much, considering, you know, that you’re in enemy territory and all.”

“Are you planning on murdering me in my sleep?”

“_I_’m not!” Adora quickly assured her, daring to take a step into her room. “But you’ve wronged a lot of people, you know. I can’t vouch for _everyone_.”

Catra tilted her head to the side. “Do the doors not lock?”

“Can the princesses _not_ use magic?”

“Your concern for my well-being is touching, Adora. Maybe I should find someone to stand guard at my door.”

“Yeah, like She-Ra. Let me in.”

Catra rolled her eyes, but she did as Adora asked. She was tired of fighting; she just wanted to be with her best friend again, to lay down on her and hold her hand and breathe her in like she did when they were kids, and the more they argued, the more flowers in her chest withered away and died. “I don’t need your protection.”

Adora was already sitting on the cot, absent-mindedly touching the sheets when she raised her head and frowned. “I was just trying to be nice. Staying here was really hard for me at first, but I had Bow and Glimmer to help me through it. I’m not ashamed of it, and you don’t have to be either.”

Catra didn’t think Adora knew how hard she was trying not to snap at her. She didn’t want to hear about how Bow and Glimmer had helped her feel at home and get over her past. She respected herself too much now to want to hear how easy she’d been to forget.

And yet, she wasn’t going to lash out. She had no desire to actually hurt Adora and her friends, or destroy the world to make everyone else pay for her mistakes. When she had, she'd only succeeded in driving Adora away, and it had taught her to tell the difference. And while she was striving not to let her self-worth depend on Adora anymore - not when she held the other half of Etheria in her hands, not when Adora’s affection for her _wasn’t_ the thing validating her before the Princess Alliance - she still never wanted to miss her again.

If anyone knew Catra, if anyone could help - not save, never save, just _help_ \- that was Adora. She just needed to learn how to ask for it, or at least that’s what the kind, bearded man who looked so much like Glimmer had told her.

“I was never ashamed of needing you." A quiet admission which got Adora's attention. "I was ashamed that you seemed not to need me back.”

Adora bowed her head in recognition, but she looked smaller to Catra, younger. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel like that.”

“I know.”

“I _always_ needed you. I tried my best to keep you safe.”

“Up until the moment you left,” she couldn’t help adding, and then wanted to beat herself up for it.

“I wanted you to be with me. I still do. But our friendship couldn’t come before the fate of an entire planet. It never occurred to me that maybe I didn't have to choose, that there could be another way."

Catra's shoulders dropped in defeat._ I wanted to be with you, too, _she almost said. _I would’ve chosen you over everything else._ But then Micah’s voice, encouraging her to go on, turned into Shadow Weaver’s, and all that bounced around her head was an echo of _Weak, weak, weak. _“It’s fine, Adora.”

“But I’m glad it happened." Adora's eyes shifted to the side now, landing on the bed again. Catra observed how her body seemed to crumple in on itself. "You had to learn how to make the right choices on your own. I couldn’t keep making them for you."

Catra rolled her eyes, but she silently swallowed down a surge of shame.

"I had to learn, too," Adora pressed on, clearing her throat like she, too, had something stuck in there. "That I couldn't always save everyone. Sometimes I just had to trust the people I loved to save themselves.”

“Even me?”

Adora’s eyes peered into her, and Catra felt their warmth all the way into her bones. “You’re here now, aren’t you? Trying to make it better."

Oh, how Catra had missed her. Stupid, naive Adora, who believed presence equalled acquiescence and cooperation was grounds for forgiveness. She’d missed how simple Adora could be, compared to how complicated Catra made everything.

When Adora smiled at her, it was tight, but still as earnest as it possibly could be after all that had transpired between them. She almost reached out for Catra, finally, _finally_ \- but then dropped her hand just as Catra felt the ache start to overwhelm her. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

Catra could’ve screamed. Why wasn’t Adora being patronizing and touching her shoulder like she knew best? Why wasn’t Catra jokingly pushing her away and jumping on her when she least expected it? That easiness was gone now, and Catra blamed herself for it - but it would come back in time, maybe. All Catra could do right now was sit next to Adora and fix one problem at a time.

Adora looked like all the fight had gone out of her. After turning the lights off, she had gracelessly thrown herself onto the cot, casually tossing her boots aside as if they had offended her, and was now already turned onto her side, her back to Catra. Catra couldn’t tell if it was a conscious choice, meant to show that she trusted Catra not to hurt her in her sleep, or if she was just that tired; either way, it represented an out for her. Adora’s shoulders were still tense, as if expecting some resolution to their discussion, but if Catra had wanted to stop it there and pick it up in the morning, that would’ve been alright with her. It might’ve been for the best, Catra thought; they were both exhausted, and Adora’s world in particular must have been rocked by her former-best-friend-turned-enemy coming back to make reparations.

Sinking down on the bed, Catra just stared at Adora for a while. Her shoulders were broader than she remembered, maybe, her frame more rounded; she’d kept training, that was for sure, but she was also eating properly, free from the restrictions of the Horde. Free from her. Catra ached to reach out and smooth out her back muscles - make Adora comfortable around her again. Promise she’d make it up to her, somehow. But something told her Adora wouldn’t allow her.

“Adora?” she whispered into the darkness, hoping the other girl was still awake. She used to be an extremely light sleeper back in the Horde, but there was no telling who this new Adora was, who’d spent so many years away from her. Maybe she’d never know her. The thought left a pang in her heart.

Adora shifted on her cot. “Yeah?”

"I didn't do it for them," Catra said, watching Adora tense up even more. Adora could keep being foolish and believe in the innermost goodness of her heart, but Catra couldn’t stand the thought of taking advantage of her anymore. "Any of them. I did it for you."

After a few seconds of silence, which made Catra think Adora was going to leave - or, worse, that she’d fallen asleep - Adora turned on her side, brows furrowed, mouth opened slightly in surprise. “For me?”

"Yes, for you," Catra replied, fighting off her irritation. Her feelings for Adora had become so much a part of her that she had forgotten how pretty Adora really was - her hair already disheveled, a hint of blush on her cheeks that was maybe, _maybe_ a result of Catra’s words - and she hated that she was being reminded _now_, of all times. "Is there any other reason I normally do things? I wanted to-"

_Please you. Make you proud. Make you mine again.__"_Fix things between us.”

To her credit, Catra was trying really hard, despite her reservations, to lay it all down on the table, and Adora was, as always, not listening.

She'd seen a hint of goodness in Catra - goodness towards her people, towards her _person _\- and immediately related it to her own sense of goodness - towards everyone and everything. She'd build Catra up in her head again, just like that, and act betrayed when Catra _didn't _prioritize the well-being of random people she didn't know over Adora's.

"I don't doubt that," she murmured, reaching out to stroke a strand of Catra's hair. "But I know that’s not the only reason.”

And Catra hated herself, she truly did; but when Adora’s hand finally came up behind Catra’s ear, it felt like the first gasp of air after almost drowning. They’d discovered long ago that the ear itself was an extremely sensitive spot for Catra, and so Adora always took great care not to touch it, even when they were snuggled together. This time was no exception; but she did trail her finger down over the patch of fur beneath, and Catra hoped Adora hadn't felt her shiver.

Her voice had died in her throat. She had to settle for a croak. "Don't pretend to know me better than I know myself. We're well past that."

"Alright," Adora said, and she sounded almost apologetic. “Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Catra was about to open her mouth again, but Adora pressed closer and closer to her until she crossed from the cot to the bed. A touch of her hand guided their foreheads together, the other arm wrapped around Catra’s middle. The warmth was almost intolerable, and still, Catra found herself wishing for more of their bodies to touch. She hadn’t felt the kind of comfort that she’d only ever found in Adora for so long; now that she had it, she wanted to be consumed by it.

"I _do _know you,” Adora whispered like a secret. “No matter how you want to justify yourself right now - I’ll still know that you chose to be good because that’s who you are.”

Catra buried her face in Adora’s shoulder. _Weak. Weak. Weak._

They slept pressed up against each other every night until the end of the war.

“You want _what_ in exchange for your help?”

The end of the war didn’t necessarily mean the end of the conflict, as once again, and hopefully for the last time, the Princess Alliance and the former forces of the Horde were reunited in Bright Moon to discuss peace terms.

It should’ve been easy, or so Adora had told Catra. Knowing Glimmer, Catra had never quite believed it, and it turned out she was right.

“Your kingdoms will still be your own,” Catra explained again, looking very much like she was about to pop a nerve, “as you never lost them to the Horde. You’ll be able to keep those, as well as your runestones - but the rest, the ones I conquered back from the Horde, will stay under my authority.”

“You have Beast Island,” Glimmer protested. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I’m not doing this for _power_. Beast Island has been overcrowded and isolated from the main land for decades. We need the other kingdoms’ support to get back on our feet, and my people won’t trust anyone but me to oversee the rebuilding process. Princess Scorpia and Princess Entrapta - the only princesses whose kingdoms would be involved - have already agreed to keep ruling them for me, and the rest of the territories I freed from the Horde hadn’t been under any other rule in a while anyway, which made them vulnerable. All I need is the Rebellion’s approval.”

“You could have all the resources you need _without_ you owning half of Etheria,” Glimmer bit back, missing the entire point. “Scorpia, Entrapta - you’re really okay with this?”

Entrapta seemed nonplussed by the whole thing, already tip-tapping on some new infernal device of hers. “She promised me all the tech left behind by the Horde and full control over my experiments. What else would I need?”

“I never got to rule my own kingdom, since the Horde abducted me as a baby,” Scorpia agreed, “and if I can now, I owe it to Catra. We wouldn’t have won the war without her.”

“There would have been _no war _without her, because Horde Prime would never have known where we were!”

“You know what, guys,” Adora sighed, standing up to mark the end of the conversation. “We’ve been at it for hours. Let’s just take a break, okay? Maybe we can rediscuss our terms after a snack.”

Catra could see that Glimmer was about to protest, but Bow, tired out of his mind after hours of negotiation had gone nowhere, managed to push himself up from the spot on the table where he’d been napping to carry Glimmer out of the room.

The rest of the Princess Alliance would never admit it in front of the queen, but they were glad for the respite. Mermista and Frosta had been secretly yawning for the better part of the afternoon, and anyone with eyes could see Perfuma getting fidgety every time Catra or Glimmer failed to acknowledge her suggestions. Entrapta had zoned out too many times to count and even Scorpia was starting to lose her patience. As soon as Glimmer and Bow were gone, they all filed silently out behind them until only Adora was left in the room with Catra.

“Well,” she sighed, “it’s gonna take longer than I thought.”

“You don’t say.”

“She’s forgiven you,” Adora promised, “deep down. I know that. But she has to keep up appearances so her judgment won’t be questioned.”

“Why is giving me what I want such a bad thing?” Catra paced around the table to get to where Adora was, and to release some of the frustration she’d pent up against Glimmer. “I’m not challenging her authority in any way. I’m just asking her to recognize mine. Those kingdoms were never hers or the Rebellion’s to begin with. What does it matter to her?”

“I guess she doesn’t want you to have too much power. And, I mean, I can understand that.” Catra shoved at Adora’s shoulder. “Listen to me. Etheria has been at war for decades. When we file for peace now, it will be a _lasting_ peace. That can’t happen if you rule over half the planet. If you wanted to, waging war against the other kingdoms would be child’s play.”

“But I don’t. That’s the _last_ thing I want.”

“I believe you, okay? But your track record isn’t exactly immaculate, and giving you what you want requires a lot of trust on our side.”

Catra sighed, leaning back on her elbows to hop up on the table. “No, I get it. But then what happens to the lands who were under the Horde? Do we leave them up for grabs? Do we nominate new rulers?”

“Would that be so bad?” Adora asked. “Giving the Horde’s lands back would be a show of good faith, and you’d still get some territory for yourself.”

Catra thought about it. It was the most reasonable option, after all, and maybe princesses old and new who knew how to draw power from their runestones would do wonders for the balance of Etheria in the long run. But it still didn’t sit completely right with her. “Is it wrong…” she tried voicing her doubts, interrupting herself almost right away. Her being actually concerned about how her actions - no, her _thoughts_ \- would come off was new. “Is it wrong to feel like this is my responsibility now, more than anyone else’s?”

Adora frowned. She was unconsciously mirroring Catra’s posture, leaning back on her chair. “What do you mean?” She tried propping her legs up on Catra’s lap, but Catra swatted them away. She was already having trouble with self-reflection; she couldn’t be expected to process _that_ as well.

“I mean, I know I’m not completely responsible for what the Horde did, but I can’t just shrug off the part I had in it. I know if these people are okay now, it’s _despite_ me more than _because_ of me. I tried to right my wrongs by getting rid of the Horde for them, and now they see me as a hero, but they don’t know I don’t deserve it. And so I _want_ to deserve it.”

She could feel Adora’s eyes on her, which should’ve been fine, since they were having a conversation. However, silence stretched on and she still never looked down or away. When Catra eventually gave up and met her gaze, she was smiling kindly, fondly, and there was no sign of the usual smugness underneath.

“Stop staring at me.”

Adora blinked. “I’m not staring at you.”

“You’ve been looking at me for an extended period of time. That is the definition of staring.”

“Sorry. You just…” She seemed genuinely confused, but at herself more than Catra. Her smile never dropped, but it turned shier, as if it wasn’t meant to be seen by Catra and yet couldn’t be held back. “You just sounded like me, right then.”

Catra couldn’t see how she possibly could’ve come to that conclusion. “Like _you_?”

“I was in the Horde, too, Catra. That sense of responsibility - that guilt at having stood by and enabled them at every turn - never quite goes away.”

"But you never _did _anything for them. You left as soon as your training was complete."

Adora shrugged. "That doesn't matter. I had all this power inside of me, and I could've used it to help protect the world as I was meant to, if I'd only looked past the Fright Zone sooner."

"That was never your fault," Catra objected.

"And now I'm here," Adora went on, "and there's this whole other person inside me - both literally _and _figuratively - and I have an obligation, to her and everyone else, to be who I need to be. That's what I meant."

"Forget _need_," Catra sneered. For all of Adora's talks, it seemed wanting to save everyone was a hard habit to break out of. "What do you _want _to be?"

Adora paused. Chances are, she'd never had to think about that. She'd needed to fill a role for the Horde, and then another for the Rebellion, but the war was over now. Was she going to stay in Bright Moon? Would she go back to Eternia, maybe, to find out more about where she came from?

"I want to be Adora," she said. "Just Adora. The one I was with you."

It wasn't an answer at all, and yet it was the only good answer. "That's a good Adora," Catra replied, stupidly. "I've missed her."

"It is," Adora said, and then she took Catra's hand. She didn't know what unnerved her the most - the silent resolve in her words, or the deliberateness of the touch. Touching Adora had been so natural once upon a time, like a breath between words, never thought about but always acted upon; now it only dug a hole in her chest and a pit in her stomach. "Maybe she'll get it right this time."

She was starting to see what Adora meant by comparing their two situations, although whatever sense of responsibility for the plight of others Adora had lost along the way, Catra had gained. It wasn't just wanting to make amends for all the pain she'd caused; it was actively wanting to be a force for change, a force of good. She needed to be more than what she was in the Horde, and she couldn't do that if the princesses didn't give her a chance.

Tugging on Adora's hand, she pulled her up from the chair so that they were almost at height level. Adora was staring at her blankly, suddenly quiet, the mid-afternoon sun washing her out. She almost looked like She-Ra for a second there, the painful reminder of claw marks still on her jaw - and possibly her back, if they were to look. But the world didn't need She-Ra anymore, and Catra - Catra needed Adora.

If those scars never healed, Catra vowed to herself, she'd treat them with care.

“Teach me,” she smiled, surprised with herself at how easy it had come. At how light she suddenly felt, talking about this with Adora like the rest of her life didn’t depend on it.

Adora hummed in thought, peculiarly focusing much of her attention on getting fully into Catra’s space. The hand that wasn’t holding Catra’s settled on her knee, and something inside Catra stuttered and unwound in the span of time it took Catra to comply with Adora’s request - which was embarrassingly short, considering she never even _voiced_ it.

But she and Adora were learning to understand each other again, and that meant listening to more than words. It meant paying attention to each other’s moods and tones of voice and the pressure of their hands on each other’s skin.

Adora burrowed herself in Catra’s neck and Catra knew she’d heard her loud and clear.

"Maybe you should consider a new perspective,” she muttered. The vibrations were tickling Catra’s skin, and her perfume was making her lightheaded. A breathless giggle was wrenched out of her when Adora nuzzled her.

“Okay. Enlighten me.”

“You want to rule over the territories that were once the Horde’s.”

“Not _directly_. Everyone will still have their lands, they’d just have to go through me for some major decisions-”

“And the Rebellion, whose territories make up the other half of Etheria, won’t let you, because then you’d hold too much power.”

Catra shuddered when Adora’s hand inched from her knee up over her thigh, but she passed it off as a shrug. It was a reflex, really, because Adora knew exactly what she was doing. She always did, when it came to Catra. “Yes.”

“But if someone from the Rebellion had the same amount of power, they would balance each other out.”

Catra blinked. “I guess.”

“So kingdoms on both sides would be held by their rightful rulers, and they’d just have to answer to two higher authorities. And you would be one of them.”

“They hate me, Adora. The two most powerful people in the world would be two people who hate each other. That just sounds like a sureproof way to start another war.”

Adora pulled back from Catra to look at her. “_I_ don’t hate you.”

Her pulse was acting up. That was weird. It had never done that without good reason. “You can keep trying to get them to give me a chance, Adora, but ultimately, it’s up to them. If they haven’t changed their minds ‘til now-”

And then she broke off, because Adora had fallen to her knees and was looking up at her with the same gaping wonder as when they’d made the stars reappear in Etheria’s sky.

“Marry me,” she whispered - and had it been anything else, Catra probably would’ve missed it, but this, this carried a power of its own that no scream could outmatch. “Rule Etheria with me.”

Catra held her breath for a second. Two seconds. Five. Then she remembered how to breathe, and used her first gulp of air to shriek: “Are you _crazy?_”

Which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t the thing you wanted to say to the girl who just asked to marry you. But Adora barely seemed to notice. “Not at all. I’ve thought this through. Marry me.”

Her fingers were digging into Catra’s hand now, and it kind of hurt. _Is that what it feels like when I sink my claws into her, _Catra distantly realized, because she couldn’t put any real words together. Still, she didn’t dare untangle them.

“Adora,” she eventually let out on a sigh. Her mind was full of her name. _Adora, Adora, Adora - _“Is the Alliance going to allow that?”

Adora had never looked more beautiful to her than right then - and she’d seen her with her hair down first thing in the morning, in a prom dress, as an eight-foot tall warrior goddess. None of that compared to this. “Why not? My job is to preserve the balance of Etheria. I can’t think of a better way to do that.”

“Through your _runestone_.” The one Catra didn’t have, because she wasn’t _born_ a princess. The one Adora was made to carry, which would hang over them forever.

For a second both relieving and terrifying, Adora looked like she hadn’t thought about that. Like it threw a wrench in her plan. A fist closed around Catra’s heart, yet still it kept beating, relentless - Adora’s fist wrenching her open.

“I’ll break it in two,” Adora promised. There was always an edge of desperation to her promises now, which made them sound more like begging. “Half of it will be yours.”

There it was. The cliff, the chasm, opening its arms up for her. The dizziness looking over the edge. “Will it work all the same?”

“Yeah, I’m - I’m sure of it. I’ll even teach you how to use it.”

Catra’s voice quivered. “But you would never be She-Ra again.”

“No. I’d be Adora. I’d be with you.” Catra thought she glimpsed a spark of fear in Adora’s eyes. But it couldn’t be. There was no way she was actually afraid of being _rejected_ by Catra - who’d carve her love out of her chest to inject it right into Adora, if she asked her to. “Isn't that enough?”

Catra barely felt her knees hitting the ground. She didn’t know if she’d made a conscious decision to kneel in front of Adora or if her legs had just given out, but suddenly the entire world had narrowed down to this, to them - and she felt like she would _die_ if she didn’t taste Adora’s skin, so she clutched both of Adora’s hands and brought each finger to her mouth. It was the lightest of touches, the flutter of a butterfly wing - over the wrist, where she felt Adora’s heartbeat against her lips; over her shoulder, moving the strap of her dress aside; over her neck, pressing harder and harder, clumsily and messily - until Adora took charge and cradled her face in her hands, pulled her body closer to hers until they shared the same crumb of universe, the same breath of air.

And as Catra’s reverent hands traced Adora’s cheekbones, _Oh_, the thought flickered in Catra’s mind, _that’s what all the fuss was about. That_ was what the Horde had never bothered telling them about, _that_ was what people started and ended wars over. _That’_s what coiled tight as fear but twice as hot in Catra’s stomach when Adora got a little too close to her, what urged her to seek her touch when she was too far away. It was so laughably _simple_, and it was all right there - in them meeting halfway, in the unbearable pressure of Adora’s lips, in Adora’s taste - Adora’s soft sighs. All the answers she’d never known to look for spread out before her, and all she had to do all along was kiss Adora, and keep kissing her, and never let her go.

She only pulled away once, and not to breathe. Just long enough to whisper _yes_.

“To be honest,” Adora laughed, leaning back into the wall, "I was expecting you to chicken out."

Catra raised an eyebrow, looking extremely offended. "What?"

"No, I didn't mean - I didn't _hope _you would, I was - terrified. That you'd change your mind."

The plate with the rest of their wedding cake was finally set to the ground. It was probably for the better - the kitchens were working hard for them, and skipping breakfast was no way to thank them. "Why would I?"

Adora flashed back to her proposal. How sudden it had all been, how she couldn't believe what she was doing and saying, how it was only in the aftermath, after Catra had said _yes yes yes_ and the council had said _yes _too and Glimmer had said _I guess_, that she'd looked at herself and fully registered the impact of what she'd done.

"I just didn't think marriage was in your plans. You never seemed to care about that stuff."

“I didn’t,” Catra agreed. To be fair, marriage had never been much of a concept in the Horde. They'd known about it, in a strictly theoretical sense, but it belonged to their reality as much as the idea of _real food_ and _music_ and _parties - _which is to say, not at all. These were things that existed, though they would never be part of their lives, and that was all they needed to know. Catra, however, had always been smarter than all of them, and more opinionated, and less willing to take whatever the Horde told her at face value. “I didn’t see the point. It wasn’t much different from what you and I already had.”

That gave Adora pause - and saddened her a little. Did Catra see no point to their marriage, even now? Did she not see how different it made their relationship, regardless of all the kissing going on? Did _her_ heart not grow unbearably soft thinking of Adora as her _wife_, of lazy afternoons to spend together when the kingdoms were at peace, of coming home to their things piling up in their room and their clothes strewn about and burying her head into her shoulder after a long day?

But of course, their relationship now had political ramifications too. Maybe Catra had only agreed out of a feeling of responsibility towards her people, and not out of actual desire to marry Adora. Sure. Adora could probably handle it, as long as she still got her kisses.

“Then again,” Catra continued, and Adora’s cheeks burned, like she’d been caught thinking things she shouldn’t have, “I never did figure out what it was that we had. It’s not like the Horde ever explained it to us, or - or we sat down to talk about it, so I didn’t- I didn’t know.”

Adora stared straight in front of her, out the window. The sun was higher now, so they would be called down any minute. Their little moment was about to end. “Yeah. Me neither.”

Catra stayed quiet for a second. Out of the corner of her eye, Adora saw her playing with the stone shard on her ring. “But it felt right. Being with you. It was the only thing that ever felt right.”

“You pushed me away.”

“Only because _you_ pulled away first.”

They'd had this discussion before. Of course they had. But it still felt so new, with all that had happened in the past few days. With them being together now, wearing the last remnants of the sword of She-Ra on their fingers, holding each other through the night, it was less about reminiscing and more about _I won't do that again._

Adora had been so stupid. They both had been, yes, and Adora hadn't been responsible for Catra's choices, or even Shadow Weaver's treatment of Catra; but she _was _responsible for her own. She _had _chosen to leave her best friend, who she'd promised to always look after, without so much as a second thought, all to find out more about herself and serve some greater good she knew nothing about. How easy it had been for her to disregard her entire life up until that point, and disregard Catra, too. How easy it had been to stomp on her own heart to do what she thought was requested of her.

"I want to be with you," Catra continued, "but not like before. Like - like -"

"Like last night," Adora remembered. They'd been very tired, and very happy, and they'd taken it slow, but Adora had felt her heart burst at the seams at every touch. _This, this is what I want, what I've deprived myself of, don't stop, don't stop, love me like that always._

Catra shook her head. "No. Like this morning." Her eyes suddenly came alive in the light, and Adora's breath hitched. "Like waking up next to you and not wanting to fall back asleep. Like seeing you first thing and finally being able to breathe. I want it to always be like that."

"I wanted to wake up with you," Adora said - because what _else _could she say? That she loved her? She must have whispered it to her a hundred times the other night. Her mind had been full of love songs and sonnets and poems but the only words on her tongue had been _Catra _and _I love you, I love you, I love you. _And when she'd woken up, she hadn't been able to wrap her arms around Catra, whisper _good morning _into her ear, kiss her shoulder as she'd wished, because Catra had been gone, and she'd never felt colder.

Catra smiled - a genuine smile, her arms opening wide for her. "Stay," she murmured in Adora's hair, pressing her head against her own shoulder. "We'll watch the sunrise together."

Weddings in Etheria were a complicated business, and even moreso when a coronation was involved.

The royal families hadn’t been gathered together in the same place since the last Princess Prom, and if the tensions between them weren’t enough - Bow had been tasked with keeping the Star Sisters away from Peekablue before they could create too much of a scene - they would also be forced to stand beside former Horde soldiers, which had been enough to make Adora fret for the entire week leading up to the ceremony.

Catra would never admit it to her face, but she found it cute, how dedicated Adora was to having their special day go by without a hitch. Catra would’ve married her under crossfire - in the middle of a war zone - while the rest of the world was drowning, so a few petty squabbles between nobles didn’t worry her in the slightest, but for Adora’s sake - she would ensure everything was perfect.

And then, it actually was. Fights were picked up at several times during the day, and they escalated into arm wrestling matches. Someone spiked the punch, and everyone was stupid and droopy and loud within ten minutes. Adora tore her pants on her thighs, and she swapped them with Catra’s, whose look she felt wasn’t edgy enough, anyway.

The actual ceremony went by in a blur. Catra barely listened to the words King Micah spoke, except for those she was supposed to repeat. Adora, instead, zoned out more than a few times, all of her focus on caressing Catra's wrist, occasionally playing with her fingers. By the time she actually slid a ring on one of them, Catra was ready to crawl out of her skin.

Her wife. That's what she was now. Young Catra wouldn't even believe she’d been lucky enough to have Adora as a friend. This Catra leant forward without fear and kissed Adora like that was all they needed to right the world. Maybe, in a way, it was.

She didn't expect to start glowing, and Adora, apparently, didn't either. It was their runestone, she'd explain under her breath much, much later, connecting to the other elemental princesses. An excited rumble went through the crowd - talks of balance, and harmony, and peace, finally peace.

Someone lay a crown on their heads, and then the hardest part, the one Catra and Adora didn't spend together, came to an end.

At night, the stars shone again.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't even a wish fulfillment fic tbh. You think Catra and Adora are going to end the series with just a kiss or something like that? You fools. Catra and Adora are never going to DATE they're going to fix their relationship and get married right away this is me speaking it into existence


End file.
